I feel like May has already gone by so fast, well at least for me it has. The wheather is getting warmer, which I am so ready for summer, just not the humitty that New York has. This month has felt like a roller coster for me. I have been up and down a lot. My life is moving and I’m just trying to make sure that the decisions that I make will only bring me closer to the person and the type of life that I want for myself.

Going back and forth with the decision that I have made, felt like I was stuck while my life was moving on. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t making the wrong Choice.The thing about getting older and decieding on what you want in life, you get to make the hard choices in life.

I have this five year plan that I have created but this month I wasn’t sure if the next step in my plan was right. I felt terrified of what would happen to my plan if I chose not to go through with it. Would I still be able to become the person that this oppertunity would make me, probably not.

When I graduated from high school everything that I planed for the next five years of my life would in some way help me to grow into the person that I have alway wanted to become. Little did I know that making the plan was a lot easier than actually going through with it. I had to make a lot more sacfisies than what I thought I would have to make.

Thinking of what I would do If this was not the right next step in my life, nothing felt right but the thought of what comes next scares me to my core. I guess that I just have to go with my gut. The wait for the unkown about my decision has been killing me. I hate not being prepared or having things planed. I like to know everything whether I want to or not. I rather be prepared for what is to come, even though I could not have prepared myself for what New York has thrown at me.

The choses that I make in my life could either bring me closer to the type of life that I want for myself or it could push me farther away from it, so what I chose to do is a big deal and I put a lot of thought into everything that I do.

Life is full of so many things that we can’t control, which doesn’t always help me with my plan in life. I know that things may change because God knows whats best but I can’t help to plan and hopfully my plan is the same as God’s. In many ways I can’t wait for this month to be over because then I will have more answers to the things that I can’t controll but with those answers I will feel more at ease.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that even thought I love to plan my life out and plan on it going the way that I would really like it to that great things in life are not easy. God pushes us to become our best Selves because He knows what’s in our hearts even when we are to blind to see our worth. I have chosen and in many ways ready to take this next step in my life, so that I can grow as a person but I also need to live in the present, not the future.

The rest of this month will bring me lots of happiness because I chose it. May is a month of new, so here is to the next step in my life that I will be taking and to the new person that I hope to become!

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