Why, What or How

This week has been a lot different than the other weeks. With each day and week that we have, there is something new that we must learn. With all the ups and downs that we go through or the challenges that we have in life.

This week as I was studying in The Book Of Mormon in 1 Nephi chapter 16. It talks a lot about the challenges that Nephi and his family were going through when their bows broke and they didn’t have any way to get food while they were in the wilderness. As Lehi his dad and Nephi’s brothers started to mummer about not being able to get food, the thought came to me how fast we are to blame God for what is going on in our lives.

As I kept reading in this chapter I noticed how Nephi didn’t blame God but asked how and what it is that God would need him to do. As he turned to God instead of blaming Him, he was able to make another bow to be able to provide for his family. He didn’t stop seeking Gods guidance then, Nephi kept seeking to know where to find the animals.

What has happened in this chapter was on my mind the whole week. I noticed that I started to feel down and not as happy as I have been in the past. Even with all the events that have happened this week, the beautiful memories that I have been creating , I was just not happy.

The week was filled with many moments that I knew that I was happy not just any kind of happiness but pure happiness that filled my heart and soul. The many laughter that filled the car with four sisters that couldn’t stop laughing or when we got to help with an event and I got to talk to so many people. Learning more about them and the love that I saw in the little babies eyes. How special they each are, but why was I feeling down when I had so many things that made me happy?

Isn’t missionary work supposed to bring me happiness? Well, yes it does. The thing is it wasn’t what was going on around me but what was happening inside of me. I wasn’t choosing to be happy I was waiting for something to make me happy. With comparing my self to others and many other things, that I was putting the light and love within, in a box and not letting it out.

I didn’t want to be like Nephis brothers and go straight to blaming God for what I was feeling so instead I turned to God and asked ” How can I not feel this way anymore, what is it that you need me to do to change how I feel?” The answer didn’t come right then but It did come. I had to go through those emotions to be able to learn from it. To realize that only I can change how I feel and how I make others feel. That I am where God needs me right now, growing the way He needs me to and becoming the person He needs me to become.

” Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.” – Elder Jeffery R. Holland. There is something to be learned with ever challenge that we face, don’t hold back from what is inside of you but let it fee. ” Cherish your spiritual [and physical] burdens because God will converse with you through them and will use you to do His work if you will carry them well” -Elder Jeffery R. Holland.

Now as I look back on this week I am able to see the beauty in each day, the many blessings that I have in my life. I may never know why but I will always learn how to over come my challenges. We are never alone in anything nor will God leave us lone because His love is what heals any soul!

” That love never changes….. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there” – President Thomas S. Monson

Just as Lydia Tava’essina Pickard said ” Focusing on “How?” instead of “Why?” helped me to see things through a lens of faith. May we all change our question into “How” and see through the lens of faith to become better each day!

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